Multi-Tasking Fail

You know how you see your friends posting cute photos of their infants tagging along on the morning chores nestled into a pile of warm, clean laundry? I mean it seems like an obvious choice, who doesn't want to snuggle up to fresh, warm laundry.  Yeah, don't do it.  I promise you it's worth two trips, one to carry the child, the second to carry the clean laundry. 

Look at me, so cute in the laundry basket, folding, sorting....

Ummmm....uh oh...

Yeah, this batch might need to be rewashed.

Moral of the story:  Don't put a prone-to-producing-bodily-fluids infant in a basket of clean laundry.  ::sigh::

Memory

A day in which she remembers sleep is good!

Infant Memory
I'm convinced infants are hard-wired to forget how to do something pretty much as soon as they do it.

Case and point:  I watched Lady Bug log-roll the entire length of her crib at 3:30 this morning. Her last roll landed her on her belly, where she proceeded to scream because she couldn't remember how to roll back onto her back, despite the 3 previous times she did it. And I swear sleeping is her favorite thing to forget how to do, but that's a whole post on its own.

Patiently driving? Probably  not.

Toddler Memory

A toddler doesn't.forget.anything.

It's almost painful some of the things June Bug will whip out at an inappropriate moment.  The most recent gem occurred while riding in the shopping cart at a very busy Costco. While I waited for some man to move his cart out of the way, my toddler not-so-patiently-and-very-loudly yelled:  BEEP BEEP!!! MOVE!!! 

I may or may not be slightly impatient when I drive. 

Parental Memory
It's lost somewhere between sleepless nights and jam packed nap-less days. My memory is so terrible I actually had this conversation:

Mama Bug:  (to a friend) Congrats on the new job!! I used to work for that school district. It's always crazy to me when people out here take jobs in the midwest, such a small world! When do you move?  You're just going to love the midwest!  (I seriously went on for a good 90 seconds).

Friend:  (stares at me blankly)  Move?? Why would I move?

Mama Bug:  Oh, right, I don't live in Southern California anymore do I? Not such a coincidence anymore.

Who the hell forgets a 2000 mile move?? Much less one that involved two kids, two cats, two cars and enough stuff to fill an Ikea??

"No thanks on the diaper mom, I'll use the potty"

Ok, no my kid didn't say that. I mean, I hear it happens, but I'm pretty sure June Bug wasn't going to announce that anytime soon. But I was ready and let's face it, toddlers are smart. Too smart, really, so why not take advantage?

Day 1: It was so crazy and exhausting I barely remember the events or how I got to bed. And no, there was no booze involved, though it might have made the day less painfully wearing. 

Day 2:  OMG success, he's learned the potty is NOT going to swallow him whole!!!

In a 12mos swimsuit, b/c sans diaper his skinny
booty can't hold up a 2T, I'm not at all envious

Day 3:  By golly I think he's got it

Day 4-5:  My kid's a rockstar, seriously, he must be a genius, right?

Day 6-7:  My kid is 2 and is going to remind he's 2, aka "I've never seen a potty in my life before...no pee mama, that's agua"  ::cries...sobs..cries some more::

Day 8-9:  Put the cork back in the bottle, then get June Bug back on track

Day 10 and on:  OMG the potty just became the coolest thing in the world and mom can leave the room with zero incident.  Heck, mom can even go grocery shopping and run errands and have play dates. 

Life has returned to normal, but without diapers; well as normal as life is with two kids. 

Now I need like 2 weeks of sleep to make up for these past few weeks of chaos.