Merry Merry Christmas!

My Christmas came in August when Daddy Bug bought me a new camera. I'm learning and hopefully getting better.  Regardless, I love taking photos and most of the time June Bug and Lady Bug don't mind.

Obviously I had big plans for our Christmas card.....my kids had other plans. Lady Bug got sick, June Bug wanted to tackle her, she wanted to provoke him, he wanted to dismantle the lights, she wanted to practice crawling...the joy of two: you  never know what you're going to get. It's been a year of many blessings for us and look forward to what the new year brings.

We wish you all a wonderful holiday season and a happy new year!

Mother of the Year

Car service and repair, not my favorite activity, but a necessary one and the SUV was due. So that meant loading all parties into the car, Daddy Bug and I driving both cars to the dealer and moving the kids into the  compact-doesn't-really-fit-two-adults-and-two-carseats car...
I dropped the keys on a fussy Lady Bug's lap in a desperate attempt to keep her happy. Yeah, I know, I really shouldn't let her chew on my keys but I'm embracing the second-time-less-discriminating mom in me. As temperatures drop, I always envision that seen from A Christmas Story and fear her tongue is going to stick to the keys. So far it hasn't happened...yet. 

I plopped her seat in the car. Run around to buckle in June Bug, shut his door and as I do,  Lady Bug looks me straight in the eyes and bites down on the key fob.  I hear the unmistakable sound of the doors locking. ::insert several inappropriate 4-letter words::

Me:  ::tapping window and trying to point to the locks:: June Bug!!! PUSH THE LOCK BUTTON!!!
June Bug:  ::tapping window, clapping, and laughing::

The Guilty Party

Repeat ten times.

No panic, we're at a dealer...okay a Honda dealer, but surely they should be able to get us in no problem. 

Mechanic:  What kind of car is it?
Daddy Bug:  A Mazda3
Mechanic: Oooooh those are tough to break into. Really anti-theft, they did a great job....

Seriously dude?? Not really the time to share such fine details of the car with TWO kids locked in it!!!! OMG, can you get me in or am I calling the police??

PSA: Do NOT give a teething infant your key fob. Lady Bug is just going to have to settle for the house keys. Thankfully my Mother of the Year badge is being issued by the dealership and NOT the local police department. 

29 Days of Thankful, 1 Day of Miracles

November 1st arrived and my Facebook exploded with a daily list of thanks.  Maybe I just have awesome friends but I appreciate the sincerity; some were funny, some were heartwarming, but all meant what they said and all were positive.

We are doing 30 Days of Thankful in our own quiet way here. Every morning over a spread of cheerios and cafecito, I ask June Bug what's he's thankful for and everyday he says "elefantes".  I did get a few "baby Lady Bugs" and once, just once I got "mama". I'll take it, 1/30 days is good enough for me--assuming tomorrow we're still thankful for elefantes and only elefantes.

This year more than ever, I have a lot to be thankful for and I could easily have filled 300 days just being grateful for the many ways my family and friends complete my life. But I took 29 days of November and made sure to write them down. Why 29?  Because there was 1 day that I dedicated my thanks to one single thing. A day where I was so thankful I actually cried with joy.
A day where this happened:

The toddler nap.    This day was dedicated to giving thanks for sleep.
I haven't seen this in at least 8 weeks, maybe even 12 weeks. I was so stunned I risked waking him up so I could document it. Stupid, I know. But Daddy Bug wouldn't have believed it otherwise. As a result I had one happy, fun and AGREEABLE toddler for the rest of the day; a day where terrible two's was a myth.
It was beautiful.

::facepalm::

From 70 to 28....degrees; a small piece of the California girl in me curled up and died this morning. June Bug is somewhat confused by this need to put on multiple layers before departing and frequently reminds me "it's soooooo cold, mama."

What we wear when we leave the house:

It's change and we'll adapt, but I do feel some sympathy for my little bugs (more so June Bug) as they make this major weather adjustment...

Well, I did. Until approximately 1pm on Monday where a quiet nap hour was shattered by a wailing June Bug:   MAAAAAMA!! I soooooooo COOOOOLD!!

What I see when I open his door:  A naked June Bug. Yep, stripped down to nothing but socks.  Oh little dude, it's gonna be a long cold winter if you don't learn to keep your damn clothes on.

Perspective of a 2 year old

Recently a mom friend shared this very fun article.  I'm so guilty of underestimating June Bug's comprehension that I thought this would prove interesting.  The mind of a toddler is an anomaly, but it was a reminder that toddlers really do live in the moment; something I could and should do much better for sure.  His answers, verbatim:

1. What is something Mommy always says to you? no push [Lady Bug] (true story)

2. What makes you happy? Read books

3. What makes you sad? Feet are sad

4. What makes you laugh? Dada and mommy

5. How old are you?  Two

6. How old is Mommy?  Two (I wish I had the skin of a 2 year old)

7. How old is Daddy? Two

June Bug getting a hug from his bestie :)

8. What is your favorite thing to do?
Go to the dentist (he'd like any place that gave him 20 toys at each visit)

9. Who is your best friend? Little D!
(This one melted my heart. June Bug did say his actual name, but he happens to be the son of one of my bestest friends and most favorite people of over 20 years. I'm glad our kids get to be buddies too!!)

10. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Be Max, king of the monsters (yes, really. word-for-word)

11. What are you really good at?
Monster books and max books

12. What are you not very good at? 
::shakes head no:: (aka nothing, obviously mom)

13. What did you do today?
Play in the park (ummm it's 30 degrees we did not go to the park today, but you did beg to go)

14. What is your favorite food?
Pooh Toast (toast and honey, which he was eating when I asked him)

15. What is your favorite song?
Elmo song (I don't think he even took a breath before answering)

16. What do you want for your birthday this year?  Panqueques (pancakes)

17. What is your favorite animal?  giraffes (a toy giraffe was on the table at time)

18. What is love? Amen!!! (shouted, at the top of his lungs. It was only lacking a finger snap and strut)

19. What does Daddy do for work? Daddy work choo-choo (Well he takes one to get there, so almost?)

20. Where do you live?  Daddy's car (no, he really doesn't. I swear)

21. Where is your favorite place to go? The kitchen (too bad he can't cook yet)

Happy Halloween!! Love, Lady Bug

Halloween, it's all about the fear factor. I've always thought the "scariest" things were rooted in sounds:  the shrieks and screams of a haunted house, the soundtrack to a horror film, the creeks and groans of an empty home, the suspect silence of a toddler...

Lady Bug, an apparently huge Halloween lover, has been diligently practicing her scariest pitch for over 3 months. When I say diligently, I mean relentlessly. For hours. Seriously, hours, I wish it were a typo. I think it's suffice to say she's ready for all those trick or treaters.

Frankly, I think this sound should be illegal and am desperately hoping she opts for Christmas carols come November 1st.

Wild Child

I've been relatively lucky that June Bug-- albeit "very two"-- is for the most part well behaved. Until today.  He might as well have chanted "liar liar pants on fire" while he raced around Old Navy. I mean raced. Full speed around tables of clothing and garment racks cackling like this was the best game ever; only egged on by his sister who laughed at his every defiant move, undermining every parenting tactic I tried. I was that parent today.  The one you look at and shake your head sadly wondering why this mom can't control her child.

Figures that June Bug's Halloween costume would be "King of the Wild Things" or Max, from my most favorite childhood book ever, Where the Wild Things Are. We read it at least 4 times a day, though in Spanish because some how I do not own the book in English. But I have made sure to teach him the best line ever written in a children's book. His costume is still in progress. So you get a video narrated by June Bug and a visual of Lady Bug in a most appropriately wonderful hand-me-down. Now if only my little wild thing would learn how to tame his own behavior...

(I'll eat you up, I love you so)

Bedtime Roulette

By 5pm last night I had two very exhausted kids. As I watched June Bug's head bob at the dinner table I pondered putting him to bed at 5:30.  Several people have texted and facebooked to see if it backfired on me. Yes, yes it did.  And frankly, I think it's because he should have gone to bed at 5. Seriously.

By 5:55pm all was perfectly quiet and two kids were sleeping...stupid, stupid me.

6:15pm would commence with an overtired June Bug wailing about how he was tired while I begged him to "please cry quietly so you don't wake Lady Bug".  By all means laugh.  It might be the most unrealistic and ridiculous thing I've ever asked of my toddler.

6:40pm all is quiet again.

3:45am Wailing June Bug because "piggy [piglet] is scary" only to be soothed by snuggles, aka holding mom in a headlock.

Luckily Lady Bug had the courtesy to wait until 4am to wake up. June Bug whined a little upon my departure, but apparently found something else to snuggle with, his underwear. Obviously, I mean who doesn't love a good snuggle with their Sesame Street intimates? Why the he!! 8 pairs of underwear were in bed with him to begin with is beyond me. How I failed to notice until 7am is another story...

::sobs::

You know those parenting days that make you want to throw in the towel and run screaming...without your 35lb double jogging stroller?  If you're a parent, I know you've had them, more than once. Or you're Angelina Jolie and have 2:1 nanny-kid ratio and a private jet to the Caribbean when you need it.  Yesterday was particularly tough and I'm sure I cried at least 4 times.
And then this happened, completely unprompted:

And I cried again. I don't even remember why it was a bad day.  ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Peace or Punishment?

As the weather finally cools off, I've seen a lot of posts and blogs about running. Some friends are doing big firsts and others are starting new programs. Both they and my kids have inspired me to run a little further and a little harder.

I have always thought the feeling of my feet hitting the pavement is therapeutic. Then I had two kids.  It's still therapeutic; but not in the mind-clearing-enjoy-the-outdoors sort of way but rather the I-will-get-rid-of-this-baby-weight-and-I-will-not-let-my-toddler-push-me-over-the-edge-dear-God-how-can-I-occupy-30-60-minutes-to-bed-time sort of way.

Because this:

= a desperation run

Desperation run:  we're going outside, you're sitting in the stroller and you're going to like it

It's a run. It's outside. It's that moment where running 4 miles while pushing 75+ pounds is easier than rationalizing with two children loudly declaring the end-of-the-world. It's peaceful and relaxing, not the torture it might seem.

See, they're happy......and my view is quiet pleasant. 

And by my definition it's quiet.  Quiet as in no one's crying. I'm not sure I know what silence is anymore. Lady Bug has found her voice and spends 90% of the run shrieking with glee.  Meanwhile June Bug has apparently decided he's my running coach. I am the comic relief to every jogger, biker and walker that passes us, as this little but LOUD voice commands "Run mama, run, no es fast, run please!"

I am running you little punk. ::sigh::  As he's clearly pointed out, I won't be setting any records in the near future, but at least my sanity is still in tact...I think.

Lesson Learned: I have no idea what I'm doing

If you're anti-sleep training you should probably to stop reading here. 

Though I will say this is not advice and I am in no way, shape, or form qualified to give sleep advice. This past weekend I learned I'm not even qualified to give myself sleep advice. Seriously, I have no idea what I'm doing. 

First-Time-Mama-Bug: No way, no how, I will NOT let my kid cry to sleep.  

By 7 months I read every sleep book there was and settled on something resembling the infamous Ferber technique, you know, the one that destroys lives.   One night and less than 10 total minutes of crying, June Bug realized I called his bluff and went to sleep.  Yeah, we had it pretty easy there AND I'm pretty sure June Bug still loves me...except when he's having a massive, mom-hating, meltdown...thank you terrible two's.

Second-Time-Mama-Bug: Obviously I am going to sleep-train Lady Bug as soon as she is deemed "age appropriate," (lest I start a mother-mud-slinging-battle).  After 12w of brutal colic and the daily nap battles we'd been fighting, I was ready and armed to get this girl to sleep! 

A glutton for punishment, I sat outside her room chanting: Don't cave mama, don't cave....and I waited, and waited, and waited. I waited for 20 minutes, listening to nothing.  

Abso-freakin-lutely nothing. She was sleeping.  

Night 2, she looked me straight in the eye, smiled, rolled over and went to sleep.   ::nervously looks around for hidden cameras:: I was sure I was being Punk'd.

I have no idea if Lady Bug is actually sleep trained. None. For all I know this is some cruel joke that's going to kick me in the ass next week, especially because I just blogged about it. But for now, I guess I'll enjoy that she's decided beauty sleep is a good thing.

My precocious little anomaly in her lady bug pj's.

Multi-Tasking Fail

You know how you see your friends posting cute photos of their infants tagging along on the morning chores nestled into a pile of warm, clean laundry? I mean it seems like an obvious choice, who doesn't want to snuggle up to fresh, warm laundry.  Yeah, don't do it.  I promise you it's worth two trips, one to carry the child, the second to carry the clean laundry. 

Look at me, so cute in the laundry basket, folding, sorting....

Ummmm....uh oh...

Yeah, this batch might need to be rewashed.

Moral of the story:  Don't put a prone-to-producing-bodily-fluids infant in a basket of clean laundry.  ::sigh::

Memory

A day in which she remembers sleep is good!

Infant Memory
I'm convinced infants are hard-wired to forget how to do something pretty much as soon as they do it.

Case and point:  I watched Lady Bug log-roll the entire length of her crib at 3:30 this morning. Her last roll landed her on her belly, where she proceeded to scream because she couldn't remember how to roll back onto her back, despite the 3 previous times she did it. And I swear sleeping is her favorite thing to forget how to do, but that's a whole post on its own.

Patiently driving? Probably  not.

Toddler Memory

A toddler doesn't.forget.anything.

It's almost painful some of the things June Bug will whip out at an inappropriate moment.  The most recent gem occurred while riding in the shopping cart at a very busy Costco. While I waited for some man to move his cart out of the way, my toddler not-so-patiently-and-very-loudly yelled:  BEEP BEEP!!! MOVE!!! 

I may or may not be slightly impatient when I drive. 

Parental Memory
It's lost somewhere between sleepless nights and jam packed nap-less days. My memory is so terrible I actually had this conversation:

Mama Bug:  (to a friend) Congrats on the new job!! I used to work for that school district. It's always crazy to me when people out here take jobs in the midwest, such a small world! When do you move?  You're just going to love the midwest!  (I seriously went on for a good 90 seconds).

Friend:  (stares at me blankly)  Move?? Why would I move?

Mama Bug:  Oh, right, I don't live in Southern California anymore do I? Not such a coincidence anymore.

Who the hell forgets a 2000 mile move?? Much less one that involved two kids, two cats, two cars and enough stuff to fill an Ikea??

"No thanks on the diaper mom, I'll use the potty"

Ok, no my kid didn't say that. I mean, I hear it happens, but I'm pretty sure June Bug wasn't going to announce that anytime soon. But I was ready and let's face it, toddlers are smart. Too smart, really, so why not take advantage?

Day 1: It was so crazy and exhausting I barely remember the events or how I got to bed. And no, there was no booze involved, though it might have made the day less painfully wearing. 

Day 2:  OMG success, he's learned the potty is NOT going to swallow him whole!!!

In a 12mos swimsuit, b/c sans diaper his skinny
booty can't hold up a 2T, I'm not at all envious

Day 3:  By golly I think he's got it

Day 4-5:  My kid's a rockstar, seriously, he must be a genius, right?

Day 6-7:  My kid is 2 and is going to remind he's 2, aka "I've never seen a potty in my life before...no pee mama, that's agua"  ::cries...sobs..cries some more::

Day 8-9:  Put the cork back in the bottle, then get June Bug back on track

Day 10 and on:  OMG the potty just became the coolest thing in the world and mom can leave the room with zero incident.  Heck, mom can even go grocery shopping and run errands and have play dates. 

Life has returned to normal, but without diapers; well as normal as life is with two kids. 

Now I need like 2 weeks of sleep to make up for these past few weeks of chaos. 

Mr. Fix-It

Look for a stud (real stud finder)...

before we hammer it secure (fake hammer)!

Having recently moved, we've had to bring out the tools and fix a few things, anchor some furniture, hang some pictures...nothing more than a little hammering, drilling, measuring.

June Bug is OBSESSED with tools, the real ones.  How quickly they figure out the little plastic ones are crap and won't do the damage that Daddy Bugs tools can do. To appease his curious nature and distract him so we could get a thing or two done, I let him play with a tape measure.  Harmless right?  Yeah, not for my ego that's for sure.

Unbeknownst to me, he toddled up behind me, measured my bum and then to let me know what a good job he'd done,  proudly declared it "big mama, big".

Awesome, June Bug. Wanna rub a little salt in that wound and give me an exact measurement?

The Ever Observant Toddler

We were so excited for June Bug to start talking, which he was really slow to do. We had some baby signs around 14mos and a few words at 15mos. Somewhere around 21months  he exploded with such gems that include:

Don't like it, mama.
Don't want it, mama.
That's mine, mama.

As you can imagine the novelty is slowing wearing off and hit rock bottom today. He sauntered into our room and pointed to 2 sets of dumbbells that we store in one of the cat tree cubbies and loudly declared "that's kitties' toys mama."

Is June Bug is trying to tell me the cats use them more than I do? And here I was feeling pretty good about my postpartum body. Nothing like a toddler to put you in your place. ::sigh::

Maybe I should have hiked more before leaving L.A. Oh well, at least the Lady-Bug-Leftovers are hidden by Lady Bug herself in this photo.

Seven Weeks of Single Parenthood

Looks like this:


Three weeks after Lady Bug made her appearance, Daddy Bug made his disapparence, kind of...He accepted a job 2000 miles away but the transition required 7 weeks apart while he found us housing and I packed us up. This meant packing quicker than June Bug could unpack, an activity I did not always excel at with a colicky Lady Bug. Yep, 4 weeks and the colic came on strong and lasted, well, pretty much the duration of my single parenthood.

So what is this picture, other than a terrible self-photographed reflection in the dirty windows of a nearby business?  It's our weekly walk to the nearest grocery story, 1.4 miles round trip.  Why walk?  Because I had two choices:

A. Load two kids into the car, one whining for no good reason, the other crying b/c her carseat is the devil (or so it seems), drive through ridiculous traffic, unload and then repeat OR
B. Push June Bug in the best-$12-I've-ever-spent stroller, strap Lady Bug in the carrier where I know she'll sleep and I'll sweat off some baby weight.

What's in the bag? A gallon of milk and a bottle of wine of course. Props to actual single parents or those with traveling spouses. I raise my wine glass to all of you; you deserve a drink or two for that matter.

Oh and lest you think that milk was for June Bug, it was actually for my coffee.

Communication 101

Hmmm, so perhaps June Bug doesn't understand quite as much as I thought.

Post diaper change:


Mama  Bug:  Do you want to throw away your diaper?

June Bug:  Yes, mommy (with great excitement I might add. Throwing things away is fun)


Mama Bug: Do you know where the garbage can is?

June Bug:   Yes, mommy (scampers off)


Two hours later I find said diaper in my bed. What is he trying to tell me?

::head hitting desk::

Potty Training 5 days before we move, a brilliant idea. No, not my brilliant idea, but because apparently it's the cool thing to do at daycare, so June Bug insists on trying it at home.  Don't get me wrong, I'm all about not having to change a toddler diaper for sure, but his timing sucks.  I'm sure moving will hinder any progress we've made, maybe not, but big life changes tend to do that sort of thing.

His favorite blankie hard at work!

Second, Lady Bug is in a stage where she only naps on me.  Inevitably June Bug will be stripped down sitting on the potty, Lady Bug will fall asleep on my shoulder, and that's when June Bug will decide he's done and wants to run around.  I'm left with two options:

A. Wake up Lady Bug in order to re-diaper June Bug=no accident but a screaming baby

B. Let Lady Bug sleep while June Bug romps diaper free= inevitable accident, but happy baby

Last time I pondered this decision for a split second too long and the result: an accident AND a screaming baby because I yelped in her ear. Wouldn't you yelp if your toddler peed on your feet? ::sigh::

And of course June Bug is very particular when it comes to the tactiles and doesn't like the plastic seat sticking to his bum. His solution: put a blanket between him and toilet. Awesome. I foresee our future potty training days going swimmingly.

And thus it begins...

...Sibling competition. As we near our big moving date, it dawned on Lady Bug that June Bug had a celebrity BFF  and she was not to be shown up.  But let's be realistic, the midwestern suburbs aren't exactly packed with celebrity goodness like Southern California. So the clock was ticking...

Plotting babies!

Being a little young to scout on her own she recruited her BFF and future husband baby E (I'm not at all opposed to arranged marriages) and baby E's mom, la Tía favorita. Off they went to lunch at a local restaurant in an area not exactly foreign to celebrity traffic and sure enough they hit the jackpot.  Lady Bug, being the daring girl she is (and in an attempt to one-up her brother) hits up an older guy and his mama: 10 month old adorable Arthur and his mama Selma Blair. Baby E, Arthur and Lady Bug enjoyed, well a predominantly mute lunch on their part, while their moms did the usual baby chit-chat and dined.

Arthur's mom was most definitely charming and witty and hopefully has a good sense of humor. Since this sleep-deprived Mama Bug asked her if she was a working mom...um yes, clearly she is.  In my defense, I'm a little slow on the uptake when it comes to recognizing the "easily recognizable," it's part of my charm. But as a result my naiveté, she was happy to chat with Tía and I over lunch.  And Arthur is one good looking baby boy.  So Lady Bug can move happily, knowing she's found her celebrity BFF. But don't worry Baby E, he's no competition for you ;-)

Toddler Trouble Times Two!

Two toddlers + 8 hours = 4 very tired parents and 2 riled up two-year-olds.

We spent the day down south with June Bug's favorite gal pal.  It's hard to believe they're as big as they are.  If I could bottle that energy, I'd be a billionaire. And of course running around like crazy actually inhibits a nap. I'm pretty confident June Bug was snoring before he even laid down.

June Bug will surely miss his favorite gal pal, how could he not? She's too adorable for words and so much fun! It's crazy to see how much they've grown and hysterical to see them interact.  I know Lady Bug's sad she won't get to meet gal pal's soon-to-arrive little brother. They would have been besties for sure.  Though she is thankful for the celebrity-sized wardrobe that was passed on to her. I can almost guarantee if Lady Bug's wearing something cute, it started with June Bug's gal pal.

Of course June Bug found the "prized" possession in one of the many bins of girl clothes: a pink fleece Elmo hoodie that he insists on wearing even though:
A. it's clearly for a girl  B. it's waaaaay to small and C. it's 80 degrees out.

I will never, ever, understand the crazy devoted love my toddler has for Elmo. He drives me batty (Elmo, not my toddler...ok sometimes my toddler too). But that's another post.  Instead I'll leave you with pictures on how much these tiny tots have grown over the last year!

in our pre-hair days

 a head of hair, a whole lot taller and clearly flirting

can't stop running

pre-walking

Pack your passport...

Because we're moving! Ok, so a passport isn't really necessary, unless your the cashier at CVS with whom I had this conversation as I put four L.A. Times on the belt and prepared to pay:

Cashier:  What's with all the papers? Are you in this or something?

Me:  No, just moving. We need paper for breakables.

Cashier:  Are you moving locally?

Me: No, across the country.

Cashier: What country?

Ummmm, the one we currently live in?! I probably stared at her, dumbfounded, for a good 30 seconds before I realized that I actually needed to utter the words "The United States".

My excited face

In hindsight I realized leaving SoCal is a lot like moving out of the country. It's a bubble of sorts and let's be honest, CA does have a  GDP bigger than most countries. California, however, will hold a special place for us. I've spent nearly half of my life here as a Los Angeles native; my kids and I were even born at the same hospital. It is a bittersweet move as we say goodbye to some wonderful friends whom I love dearly, my awesome job and our picture perfect weather...ok, that's a lie. I'll only miss CA weather when it's sub zero in the midwest. Call me crazy, but I'm looking forward to seasons. 

Are you up to the challenge mom?

But we have a lot to gain by heading east with family, much more living space and my dream job to be a stay-at-home-mom. It's not a "career" that many would chose and I'd be lying if  I said I wasn't nervous.  I know Lady Bug's excited for sure! June Bug, well I think he's uncertain about my stay-at-home-mom abilities. He's spent the last few weeks putting me to the test and sizing me up...

I'm fairly confident June Bug is looking forward to giving me a run for my money and possibly driving me back to work! Here's proof that he's literally a kid on the run!

Science vs. The Old Wives Tale

All my awesome science-inclined friends and co-workers are probably spitting out their coffee at this one.  But come on, no one loves an old wives' tale (OWT) like a woman trying to get pregnant, who is pregnant, or who's trying to induce labor.  When it comes to OWT, if the trick worked for 1 woman, it's reason enough for another 3.4 million desperate women to try it too.

Since were were "team green" with Lady Bug,  people were dying to know how my pregnancies compared.  So let's see put science and OWTs on the court and let them duke it out.  Everyone swears that "different" pregnancies=different sex.  Ultimately this post is more for me and my terrible memory, so that if there's a third bug (Daddy Bug just choked on his tea), we can compare the data!  And for the record, this is the most "scientific" I can be. If we were going to truly be "scientific" then the ultra sound tech would probably get an opinion.  So really, it's not very scientific at all but here are the stats...

So "science" wins on this one!!!  Oh and as for any OWT that says it'll induce labor...yeah, I tried them all, several times.  I still don't know what it means to "go into labor" and I have two kids.

If you give a toddler a cookie...

...he'll end up with a sugar high and not want to go to bed.  Which means he'll sing at the top of his lungs from his crib, pause, say "more," continue, and then cheer himself on.  He'll finally fall asleep an hour later than he should.  Which means he'll probably be getting up extra early.

He'll decide 5:40am is a good time to rise but not so much to shine.  He'll remember that misery loves company and want Lady Bug awake to join him. Lady Bug will wail because she won't like the early morning kisses from her brother.  So you'll have to bounce and shush and hope the neighbors don't come knocking on your door. Then your toddler will wail so that you'll carry him around as well. When he realizes you only have so many hands, he'll momentarily wail, throw himself on the ground, and then go about his merry away as if none of it ever happened.

When you're not looking, he'll get as riled up as possible.  This will lead him to attempt far more ridiculous stunts than the norm, like playing superman on the couch. Superman stunts will end with a bloody nose.  They bleed a lot and this will scare him.  He'll cry, wipe his nose, see more blood, and cry harder.

This will require a change of clothes.  You'll ask him to pick out a new shirt because you know that will calm him down. Toddlers like to make their own decisions. He will come back with the one shirt in his drawer that doesn't fit.  He will ask you to make it fit.  You will have to pull and stretch to get on, which will result in ripping not one, but two large holes in that shirt. This will produce a massive flood of tears as you have now destroyed his prize possession. You promise you'll fix the shirt tomorrow, but really you'll probably hide it.

You'll start counting the hours to bedtime and realize it's only 10:30am.  So instead you count until nap time. Which won't go well anyway, so you might as well have counted until bedtime.

Not nearly as fun a story as Ms. Numeroff's mouse and his cookie, and tragically all fact and no fiction. none. zip. zilch ::sigh:: 

So we'll look at happy photos (clearly not taken today) and hope for a better day tomorrow.

What's yours is mine and...

...What's mine is mine.  June Bug's not really into sharing. Doesn't seem to matter if he's about 10lbs too heavy and a foot two long, all the baby stuff he DIDN'T like as an infant is suddenly fantastic and awesome as a toddler.  It's a charming stage to say the least when I find him lounging in the bouncy chair like it's some sort of beach lounger and he's violently bouncing up and down until he's literally slamming it to the ground.

Another prime example is the tummy time mat.  Little Lady Bug was attempting to get some tummy time in, when June Bug decided to show her how it's done. He was happy to demonstrate on a blanket but she was none to pleased to be face down on a towel. The actual  tummy time mat is now a diaper changing station per June Bug's demanding request. Whatever keeps him from trying to wrap his legs around my arms in some sort of wrestling vice grip to prevent said change means I won't argue.

But that means Lady Bug doesn't get to use the actual  tummy time mat.  I'm avoiding putting my newborn face down where...well I'm sure you can imagine why.

Tummy time on the couch however, 

was a big hit!

How to Reason with a Toddler

If you thought I was actually going to have words of wisdom, then you've never had a toddler before.  June  Bug will politely hear you out, before going on his merry way as he wishes.

Does this look like a face that cares what I'm saying? He was picking flowers that specifically had bees in them!  Why???!!!!!!!!

Male-patterned balding....

June Bug, 4 weeks

What in the heck does this have to do with with my kids?  They both suffered this fate as newborns.

I was really really hoping Lady Bug would keep all that pretty, soft, dark hair.  Nope.  Receding like an 80-year-old man a la Peter Boyle.  ::sigh::  If she's anything like June Bug she'll be bald until at least 15 mos.  So sad.  Good thing she owns like 387 hats.

The one upside, my babies look like babies just a little bit longer.  And that makes this mama happy.

Lady Bug,  3.5 weeks

Easter Blessing...

Making it through church with a 22 month old and a 2.5 week old, that was a HUGE Easter blessing for the Bug household.  We've had to vacate mass early when June Bug decides to melt down beyond the point of no return.  The last time it happened Daddy Bug felt so bad, asking if I was sure I wanted to leave pre-communion.

Me:  yes, I think God understands and everyone else in this building is silently thanking God for our departure.

Yesterday, Lady Bug slept through most of mass, wonderful!



The bigger challenge  is the toddler...how do you keep a 22 month old entertained during mass??  Well of course I pack a diaper bag full of books, toys, snacks and other crap; none of which is of any interest to him.  Lucky for us, June Bug LOVES music.  And by love I mean, when a song ends in church and it is completely and utterly silent, June Bug throws up his arms and cheers:  "YAAAAAAAAAY!!!" at the top of his lungs and claps enthusiastically.

And of course being the stellar mother that I am, only encourage said behavior by giggling like a school girl.  Luckily everyone around us was just as amused by June Bug's love of church music.

On a side note, I always said if I had a baby girl I'd never put giant-ass bows and flowers on her head.

Yeah, well I lied.  They're so much fun and so damn cute, even if they are a bit ridiculous!

Back to Blogging...

Where have I been??
Puking my brains out...I wish I were kidding.  I mentioned many moons ago that June Bug was going to be a big brother and that put blogging on the back burner. Morning sickness came on strong at 6 weeks and didn't chose to depart my entire pregnancy. Luckily I stopped throwing up around 34week.  Only to continue puking for 18 hours after delivery.  Mama Bug + Anesthesia= A Hot Mess.

June Bug still thinks the toilet is for puking...so much for potty training early, he'd rather open the lid and pretend to gag. Awesome.

As for little one #2, we were what people call "Team Green" aka we didn't know the sex of the baby.  We did have an ultrasound tech write it down on a card, but we never opened it. Which was shockingly easy to wait it out.

Our team of doctors/nurses knew we didn't know and held up the little one after birth and let Daddy Bug share the news. The look on his face was priceless as he exclaimed "It's a girl!!! It's a girl right???"  To which a nurse replied, "yep, I think we can confirm that."

So June Bug is joined by our little Lady Bug (who was not so little compared to her brother at a 1/2lb bigger and a full inch longer).  She was a lot of baby for this little mama. Thanks to my favorite soccer mom for inspiring her blog name :-)

And now begin the trials and tribulations of Two under Two!!! June Bug was more interested in the drug scanner than his new sister --------->
And has on several occasions said "baby go". 
Yikes.