I hope my child looks back on today, and remembers a Mum who had time to play
There will be years for cleaning and cooking, but children grow up when we are not looking
Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow, cause babies grow fast, much to our sorrow
So settle down cobwebs, dust go to sleep, I'm cuddling my baby, and babies don't keep
(Song for a Fifth Child)

Sunday, April 29, 2012

If you give a toddler a cookie...

...he'll end up with a sugar high and not want to go to bed.  Which means he'll sing at the top of his lungs from his crib, pause, say "more," continue, and then cheer himself on.  He'll finally fall asleep an hour later than he should.  Which means he'll probably be getting up extra early.

He'll decide 5:40am is a good time to rise but not so much to shine.  He'll remember that misery loves company and want Lady Bug awake to join him. Lady Bug will wail because she won't like the early morning kisses from her brother.  So you'll have to bounce and shush and hope the neighbors don't come knocking on your door. Then your toddler will wail so that you'll carry him around as well. When he realizes you only have so many hands, he'll momentarily wail, throw himself on the ground, and then go about his merry away as if none of it ever happened.

When you're not looking, he'll get as riled up as possible.  This will lead him to attempt far more ridiculous stunts than the norm, like playing superman on the couch. Superman stunts will end with a bloody nose.  They bleed a lot and this will scare him.  He'll cry, wipe his nose, see more blood, and cry harder.

This will require a change of clothes.  You'll ask him to pick out a new shirt because you know that will calm him down. Toddlers like to make their own decisions. He will come back with the one shirt in his drawer that doesn't fit.  He will ask you to make it fit.  You will have to pull and stretch to get on, which will result in ripping not one, but two large holes in that shirt. This will produce a massive flood of tears as you have now destroyed his prize possession. You promise you'll fix the shirt tomorrow, but really you'll probably hide it.

You'll start counting the hours to bedtime and realize it's only 10:30am.  So instead you count until nap time. Which won't go well anyway, so you might as well have counted until bedtime.

Not nearly as fun a story as Ms. Numeroff's mouse and his cookie, and tragically all fact and no fiction. none. zip. zilch ::sigh:: 

So we'll look at happy photos (clearly not taken today) and hope for a better day tomorrow.

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